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Going through a divorce is a lonely, stressful experience, and the holidays can really exacerbate the challenge. Events that you once thought of as positive – and maybe even looked forward to – become minefields of awkwardness, discomfort, and even sadness for any number of reasons, including financial stress, feeling betrayed, having to spend important days without your children, or just being frustrated by the process of negotiating the terms of a divorce.  Future holiday celebrations will undoubtedly be easier, but that provides little immediate consolation. What can help is these tips on getting through the next month. At Reinherz Law, we understand that this is an emotional time, whether you are just beginning the process of divorce, in the midst of negotiations, or have completed the process. We are here to help. Here are some hints on how to cope with holiday gatherings while going through a divorce.

  • One thing that is a big help to avoid surprises and triggers. Think ahead to what events you are likely to be invited to, or for that matter moments that may evoke sadness or loneliness and make a plan to avoid them. One great solution is to simply remove yourself from the possibility of awkward events by taking a vacation over the holidays. Choose a place that has no sentimental attachment to your relationship and treat yourself to a relaxing getaway.
  • If you are struggling with the change that a divorce has created in your family’s traditions, then it’s time to create some new ones. Rather than dwell on what has been lost, instead take the best of what you want to keep and use them to establish brand new rituals for yourself and your children. When you do this, involve them in the conversation so that they understand that the holiday celebrations will continue and be just as enjoyable and exciting as in the past.
  • Families with children should be thoughtful in dividing up their custody time, remembering that their decisions should be based on what is best for the children. Extended family is important to a child’s sense of their place in the world, but it is equally important for the kids to be able to enjoy the holidays for themselves. Try to strike a balance.
  • Enlist your support system when you need help. Friends and family members will be eager to provide you with companionship and include you in their celebration, but you may need to reach out to them and actually ask them for understanding. There is no shame in doing so. Everybody needs help from time to time.
  • Remember to take care of yourself. Get enough sleep and exercise, and eat healthy meals to keep yourself feeling strong and energetic. And treat yourself to something nice!

The holidays are one of the most difficult times for those going through a divorce, but things will get better. To make sure that you are well represented and receive fair treatment as you consider divorce remediation, contact the experienced professionals at Reinherz Law.

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