No matter how challenging things may have been in your marriage, the first days, weeks, and months after your separation or divorce can be a lonely time. There is something about having another person there that makes a difference in the way that you perceive the world, and once you’re by yourself you will need to take active measures to adjust and reset.  Living on your own again strikes each person differently. Some respond with quick acceptance and a return to their single lifestyle, while for others separation means pain. Being alone can lead to invaluable self-reflection, but it takes time to re-engage with yourself as an individual rather than as part of a couple. Here are some tips for adjusting to single life after divorce.

  • Create a routine – If you don’t build a schedule into your day, you’re far more likely to engage in unhealthy or helpful activities. Fill your daily calendar with exercise, time for listening to music or reading, chatting with friends, cleaning or doing laundry, volunteering or engaging in a hobby. It’s okay to have downtime, but if you have a daily routine that starts with brushing your teeth and making your bed each day, your scheduled tasks will quickly help being alone feel more normal.
  • Take pleasure in cooking, even if it is for yourself – There are few things that can provide a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction the way that planning, preparing, and then eating a meal does. Not knowing how to cook is no excuse – there are YouTube videos on every possible subject, so even a novice can learn their way around a kitchen. Once you’ve mastered a few meals, you’ll not only feel more confident, but you’ll have a great way to show your friends that you’re making your way through the tough part. Invite them over!
  • Remember and reconnect with who you once were – Marriage and being part of a couple changes everybody, and the conflict involved in the divorce process can be damaging. Take the time to remember and reconnect with who you were before deciding to date again. Otherwise, you’re likely to make the same mistakes and repeat the same patterns.

Divorce can be a painful and confusing process. If you need legal help, contact our office today to set up a time to talk to one of our experienced, compassionate attorneys.

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