Adultery is an extremely painful experience. It is completely normal for a spouse who has learned about their husband or wife’s affair to feel anger, pain, and grief all at once. The emotions you feel may run the gamut, from wanting to strike back and cause equivalent pain to questioning your own self-worth. Some people immediately move to try to save their marriage, while others see no way out but divorce. There is no right answer on what to do – it is a completely personal decision.

One of the myths that circles around divorce holds that clients whose spouses have cheated on them are given more leverage by judges, who view adultery with disapproving eyes. As much as this may feel like a good and just result to a husband or wife who’s been cheated upon, there is no truth to the theory. Today, divorce is almost never viewed as a matter of right or wrong. It is simply the business of ending up a legal contract between two people while addressing the details of assets, child custody and support.

As experienced divorce attorneys, adultery is an issue that we encounter all too frequently. Spouses who have just learned of an affair are frequently in shock, overwhelmed by feelings of betrayal and unable to see past their emotions. They look to the legal system to act on their behalf and are frustrated when they learn that there is no additional relief to compensate for their pain.

In Pennsylvania, divorces are almost always filed as “no-fault.” That means that you don’t need grounds for a divorce. Though it is tempting to pursue an “at fault” divorce, these often take more time and require proof that may be painful to collect and present. Even if you do so, the presentation is unlikely to impact either the distribution of assets, child custody, or child support. A wronged spouse may be able to avoid paying alimony, and this will definitely be the case if your ex ends up cohabitating with another person.

Every divorce is difficult, but those involving adultery are often the most challenging to deal with. Spouses who have been cheated on often focus more on the betrayal than they do on the legal process, and often let their emotions cloud their thoughts on what will be best for them and their children in the long term. Our experienced and compassionate divorce attorneys understand exactly how painful this process is, and we are here to help you navigate your divorce journey and guide you to the decisions that will help you move forward. Contact us today to set up a time to talk.