To say that divorce is emotionally challenging — and often maddening — is an understatement, and that’s especially true when the couple has children. To say that the holidays can exacerbate an already vexing situation is obvious.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. As a parent, one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your kids for the holidays is the ability to enjoy them in a pure and stress-free way, and there are several steps that you can take to make sure that happens.  Here are some simple tips to help you keep your kids’ spirits high, despite any difficulties you may be having with your ex.

• First and most importantly, put the kids’ needs ahead of your own. The whole world (advertising, movies, books) make the holidays happy, so don’t let your anger or need to ‘win’ or ‘get back at’ your ex get in the way of that happening for them. Stop and breathe before you let your own motivations get in the way of their holiday enjoyment. You can let go of things for a week or two.
• You may be alone for the holiday, as many custody arrangements are set up to provide access to the kids every-other-year. Don’t make your kids feel sad about you being alone. Instead, make sure they know you want them to have a great time, no matter who they are with.
• Don’t try to ‘win’ the holidays by giving the biggest, best or most gifts. The holidays are about a lot more than presents.
• Make sure that you communicate with your kids’ other parent to make sure that timing for when kids are where and times for drop off or pick up are worked out You don’t need to discuss any other issues during the holidays. Leave it for another time.
• Consider celebrating together if you can do so without stress. At the very least, it’s a great idea to take your child shopping for a gift for their other parent or to help them make a homemade gift for them. Doing so sends a powerful message that your child will appreciate.
• Instead of grieving what you’ve lost, start building new traditions with your children that you can carry forward into the future.

Having the help of a compassionate, experienced attorney can help minimize the stress of divorce. Contact us today to learn more or set up an appointment.