Moving On

Whether your wedding was an extravaganza in which you said “I do” in front of a few hundred family members and friends or a quiet little ceremony between you, your spouse, and a court clerk or justice of the peace, you entered that union with big dreams, hopes, and a conviction that the two of you would be forever. Unfortunately, life has unseen twists and turns, and though you may have expected a few bumps in the road, you never thought everything would fall apart. If you’ve found yourself facing a divorce, you are likely feeling at loose ends and uncertain as to whether there is anything that you can count on. Though you may feel hopeless now, people do get over a divorce and find happiness again. Here are some top ways to move on after a divorce.

• Give yourself a break from your ex – Continuing contact is one of the most challenging aspects of divorce and doing everything you can to minimize or eliminate contact will help you recover and return to your sense of self. Though this may seem impossible if you have children who shuttle back and forth between homes, you can arrange custody so that drop off and pick up are organized around school or daycare rather than at either of your homes. If you are a member of a shared community such as a church or social group, you may choose to avoid attendance for a while, or even to negotiate that the two of you alternate attendance. It’s also a good idea to block each other on social media and explain to your friends that contact is painful, asking for their patience and cooperation
• Recognize the loss and allow yourself to grieve – Though a divorce is not a death, it can feel like one, and as a result, you should let yourself go through each step of the grieving process. There are wonderful books dedicated to the subject and reading them can be helpful. Be kind to yourself, with no expectations of how long it will take you to recover.
• Build new habits and adopt new rituals – Every step you take to introduce yourself to something new allows you to step away from the painful past. Create new rituals, get involved in new sports, meet new friends, change your schedule.

Divorce is painful, but by being mindful and not expecting too much of yourself, you will get through it and move on to a better day. If you need legal guidance through the process, contact us today to set up an appointment with our compassionate attorneys.