To call divorce a big decision is the epitome of understatement. There are many very good reasons to end a marriage, and just as many very good reasons to reconsider. But what happens if you’ve gone so far as to hire an attorney, file the paperwork and tell your friends, family and colleagues. Isn’t it too late to turn back?

The short answer is that it’s never too late. Not only do plenty of people reverse themselves and decide to give their marriage another chance, but there are a fair number of people who go through the entire process of divorce, only to reconnect and remarry later.

All that being said, once you’ve gotten to the point where you have notified your spouse (and others) that you want to end your marriage, there’s likely to have been a lot of pain inflicted, words said in anger and tears shed. For that reason, we strongly encourage you to think carefully before pursuing a filing and to consider some interim steps such as separation or marital counseling before beginning the legal process. Though some marriages are clearly irrevocably broken, there are others where reconciliation is possible, and the fact that you’ve filled out paperwork and paid fees to an attorney or to the courts is not reason enough to give up.

Many people choose to file for divorce during heated moments, then after their anger or pain has been dulled by time they reconsider whether they really want to live without the person who they chose as a mate for life or to force their children to split their time between two households, alternating holidays and carrying belongings back and forth every other weekend. If you find this vision intolerable and believe that it is possible to rekindle your relationship, it is strongly suggested that you simply put the divorce process on hold and pursue mediation, coaching or counseling. If, after making a committed effort at reconciliation you find that the problems that originally spurred you to divorce are still present, then you’ll know that you gave the marriage a real chance and can restart the process.

Sometimes, the best way to avoid this outcome is to speak with a divorce attorney before discussing your thoughts with your spouse. In doing so you can get a strong sense of the practicalities and realities of what divorce will entail. If you’d like to set up this type of meeting, contact our office today and we will find a time that is convenient for you.